Auditioning is Hard

I had an interesting audition yesterday. My entire day until 6:15 pm was wrapped up in it. So many people were there that it took forever to get through the 300+ list. 8 am to 6 pm, no callback, and I was almost late to my evening spin class.

Why was I in such a good mood all day? I was thinking about it on the train, and I realized something; I don't really hate audition days as much as I can make it seem sometimes. I really feel like I've adopted the mindset of those around me in the past, and it has hindered my audition life making me absolutely dread auditions. It's the popular belief that all the people are insane and that it completely sucks to wait around all day to get your 30 second chance. The facts are true, but perspective is everything. I learn good details sometimes about certain things from those people that feel they must be heard at all times (or you could choose to get intimidated and stressed out). Also, an audition day is an opportunity I have to read, play with my iPad, explore Pinterest, listen to music, and whatever else I want completely guilt-free because I am actively doing what I came to New York to do. Best part: I get to showcase my talent for some live human beings! Also by adopting this mind-set, I am much more likely and excited to pack my XL bag and trek to the studio... It's like taking your work to Starbucks, but if at the end of every Starbucks work session you got to play the lottery for free. :)

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I've heard people say their day was wasted from being overlooked or typed out. You never know what the people in that room are thinking or seeing in you, and if you ask me, what wasted your day was you and that attitude. If you expect the worst, how will you ever receive the best?? It just doesn't make sense! Ask and you shall receive, people.

So for all those haters: if it's really that bad, move back to Iowa... The theatre will be just fine without your attitude. But if this is what you really want, change your mind and you'll find it's a much kinder world than you give it credit for.

♥AshPiece 
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How to Love Moe?

My journey has continued a great deal, and I've been learning a lot... so why haven't I been blogging?? I have no idea...

I'm going to illustrate my thoughts today by telling a fictitious example story, because when imagining how to describe with he/she/them's I got really overwhelmed... :)

I have been friends, acquaintances, and even in deeply-close relationships with people like "Moe." Moe continuously goes through life expecting the worst to happen to him. Every day, saying that something awful will happen, and surprisingly (though not so much), it does! With these low expectations in life, one would expect Moe to be prepared and handle the hardships he asks the universe for well, however this is not the case. Moe is extremely shocked whenever life throws him a curve-ball, and *get this* blames everyone around him for his misfortune. It is a truly tragic story. Moe is unhappy. Moe chooses to stay unhappy. Moe makes everyone around him, strangers and loved ones alike, unhappy, and Moe cannot figure out why he returns, time and time again, to this miserable state of being.

Those who care about Moe can see this, but are completely helpless, because conditions like these can ONLY be truly resolved from within. Moe may find a good day, week, or few months in a new distraction, but the lack of true self-awareness, realization, and understanding will make any sense of happiness fleeting and unstable. The worst part about this is that in the process of hurting himself, Moe also hurts and pushes away all of the people near and dear to him. He lives a life of constant destruction, like the Tasmanian Devil, tearing through people (even innocent strangers) haphazardly, and ending up standing alone, in the middle of the bloody rubble, angry at his victims, and still completely clueless to his true problems.

We all have a little Moe in us from time to time, and I know we all know or have known and loved a Moe before in our journey. I haven't quite figured out how to handle the Moe's in my life yet. I truly believe that this is a lot of what I am meant to be exploring right now. The only conclusion I have right now is to continue to express love to them as best I can, without subjecting myself to their abuse. Unfortunately, I have a complete set of issues that directly clash with true Moe's, so I have a really hard time knowing how to handle them. One thing I do know is that everybody needs, deserves and desires love, and although Moe's don't express love well at all, they still need it. Love is about giving, and not expecting anything in return. When it is returned, that is true beauty, but even when it is not... it is good and right to love.

This is something I have to train and re-train myself over and over. It is so easy to get self-righteous and give up on people because they have wronged you and what-not, but true character is shown in the difficult times, not the easy.

love. love. LOVE.

♥AshPiece