Here's what happened... At the beginning of July, I became extremely ill. Not to get too graphic, but my body was moving blood out where it naturally shouldn't. I had the worst pain of my life... It was absolutely excruciating. After a few days of trying to let it pass, I finally went to the ER, only to end up back in the hospital, and stayed there, a few days later. Nobody could figure out what it was that was attacking my body, but there were many concerns of the possibilities. It was a truly frightening time. After concluding that it was some sort of food-borne something, they killed it with some really intense antibiotics that basically wipe out your entire system. Weeks later, I found out (through a survey company for the city's health department--more on NY doctor fails later) that the little punk was Salmonella that took up camp in my abdomen. The Internet would later inform me that about 400 people die from it per year.
Where am I going with this? I can divide my year, very clearly, into before I got sick and after... It took about a month to recover and feel normal again physically, and after that, I was completely unmotivated. It seemed so unfair that I had to go through that because at the time that I got infected, I was completely vegan and had been for a few months, and it was probably a lazy food-worker handling my veggies (I'm pretty positive of where I got it). All I wanted to do after that was work, be with my friends and fella, and that's about it. No auditioning, no voice lessons, no healthy eating, no yoga... The high I was on the first half of the year was a mere memory, and although I tried over and over to gain that back again, something kept holding me back and my heart wasn't in it as it had been before. Luckily my job required that I be pretty active, but I wasn't doing any of the supplemental exercise to keep my body evened out (spinning is such a repetitive movement on a few specific parts of the body). Life comes at ya... and for some reason this one took me down, HARD.
Finally, I am feeling motivated again. I'm remembering those reasons why I originally adopted a plant-based diet, and am learning to treat myself well again. As my eating and negative thinking spiraled out of control, my self-talk became absolutely abysmal... I was constantly belittling myself and thinking it was all my fault that I lost the drive I had before. There are so many reasons that I believe factored into it, but that negative self-talk and self-punishment was definitely the primary culprit.
So here I am, back in the saddle, ready to enjoy my life as it is today, and get back to that journey of wellness and revive my passion for health and life! Stay tuned... life is good, and I'm going to CELEBRATE it!
♥AshPiece
Today's inspiration from Kris Carr's blog about
Crazy Sexy Manifesting ... Read it. LOVE it. You're welcome. :o)
